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"Parasitic Confessions and Ludacris Conspiracies" Unisex Softstyle T-shirt

"Parasitic Confessions and Ludacris Conspiracies" Unisex Softstyle T-shirt

Regular price $20.00 USD
Regular price Sale price $20.00 USD
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Political Satire: Parasitic Confession and Conspiracies Shirt – The Worm’s in Control

He said it, not us. This hysterically biting political satire shirt features a cartoon likeness of RFK Jr.—complete with the now-infamous brain worm he admitted once lived rent-free in his head. According to a 2012 court deposition, Kennedy stated that doctors discovered a dead parasite in his brain, possibly linked to memory loss and confusion. Honestly, that explains a lot. This political satire shirt takes that worm and gives it the spotlight it deserves. Featuring a bold, hand-drawn caricature of RFK Jr. with his cranial guest-of-honor wriggling proudly from his head, this design is for anyone who enjoys their political commentary weird, witty, and scientifically sound.

From promoting anti-vaccine rhetoric, to claiming that Wi-Fi “opens the blood-brain barrier,” to suggesting that COVID-19 was engineered to spare Ashkenazi Jews and Chinese people—this man has said some things. And now, you can wear a shirt that says all of it without saying a word.

Titled "Parasitic Confessions and Ludacris Conspiracies"  this shirt is perfect for science-believers, political cynics, debate watchers, and anyone whose coping mechanism is dark humor. Whether you're headed to a protest, a comedy club, or Thanksgiving dinner with conspiracy-obsessed relatives, this tee has the perfect energy: stunned disbelief with a splash of satire.

The Goods:
This unisex softstyle t-shirt is a versatile wardrobe staple that radiates comfort and style. This lightweight tee feels great against the skin, making it perfect for everyday wear or special occasions. Its classic crew neckline and relaxed fit ensure you look effortlessly chic whether you're out with friends or lounging at home. Perfect for gifting during holidays, birthdays, or just because!

Product Features:
-Fabric is lightweight and soft. This versatile unisex t-shirt is comfy enough to wear all year round.
-The classic fit with the crew neckline delivers a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion. All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort.
-Made using ethically grown and harvested US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. This blank tee is certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance.
-Fabric blends: Heather colors – 35% ring-spun cotton, 65% polyester; Sport Grey and Antique colors – 90% cotton, 10% polyester; Graphite Heather – 50% ring-spun cotton, 50% polyester

More Deets
-Made with 100% ring-spun cotton or a cotton/polyester blend for lightweight comfort
-Classic fit with crew neckline for versatile style
-Twill tape shoulder tape for added durability
-Ethically grown and harvested US cotton for sustainable production
-Ribbed knit collar to retain shape and provide elasticity

T-Shirt Size Guide (in inches):
XS: 16" wide, 27" long, 7.99" sleeve length
S: 18" wide, 28" long, 8.23" sleeve length
M: 20" wide, 29" long, 8.50" sleeve length
L: 22" wide, 30" long, 8.74" sleeve length
XL: 24" wide, 31" long, 9.02" sleeve length
2XL: 26" wide, 32" long, 9.25" sleeve length
3XL: 28" wide, 33" long, 9.49" sleeve length
4XL: 30" wide, 34" long, 9.72" sleeve length
5XL: 32" wide, 35" long, 9.96" sleeve length

Please note: All measurements refer to the actual garment dimensions. Widths are measured across the chest, 1 inch below the armpits. Sleeve lengths are measured from the top of the shoulder to the end of the sleeve. Allow for a 1.5 inch size tolerance.

Care Instructions:
Do not dry clean
Do not bleach
Tumble dry: low heat
Iron, steam or dry: low heat
Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors

 

Hashtags:
#PoliticalSatireShirt, #RFKBrainWorm, #TheWormsInControl, #FunnyElectionShirt, #SatiricalTee, #RFKJrParody, #AntiConspiracyFashion, #LiberalHumor, #ScienceMatters, #DarkPoliticalHumor, #2024ElectionSatire, #DeadParasiteFashion, #AntiRFKMerch, #VaccinesWork, #WearYourValues

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