"Parasite" Unisex Softstyle T-shirt

"Parasite" Unisex Softstyle T-shirt for Nature Lovers

Let’s be honest: if Earth had Yelp reviews, humans would get zero stars. The “Parasite” T-shirt doesn’t sugarcoat the truth—it proudly features a grotesque parasitic entity with the word "PARASITE" looming above it, a not-so-subtle metaphor for... well, us.

This shirt is for those of us who get it—who see the oceans choking on plastic, the skies thick with carbon, and still hear people debating if climate change is “real.” It’s a wearable reminder that humanity might just be Earth’s most ambitious parasite. Congrats, us!

☠️ Who Needs This Shirt?

Environmentalists who are tired of polite messaging and ready to get blunt
Antinatalists who know that less reproduction = less destruction
Existential nihilists, eco-anarchists, and disillusioned science nerds
Artists, academics, and thinkers who use irony as their weapon of choice
Anyone who has ever looked at the news and said, “You know what? Maybe we are the problem.”

💀 Why It Matters

This isn’t just a shirt—it’s a statement, a mood, and possibly a warning label. It calls out human exploitation of the planet, unchecked population growth, and our uncanny ability to destroy everything we touch... while selling T-shirts about it. Irony level: chef's kiss.

Wear it to:

Climate rallies
Dystopian brunch
Therapy
Your next awkward family BBQ when they ask about grandkids

🧵 Shirt Specs:

Soft AF cotton (we’re not total monsters)
Unisex sizing for all genders and body types
Professionally printed, built to outlive the species
Also functions as a conversation starter / conversation ender

Product Features: 100% ring-spun cotton and polyester blended fabric that is lightweight and soft. This versatile unisex t-shirt is comfy enough to wear all year round. The classic fit with the crew neckline delivers a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion. All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort.

*Made using ethically grown and harvested US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. This blank tee is certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance.

Fabric blends: Heather colors - 35% ring-spun cotton, 65% polyester; Sport Grey and Antique colors - 90% cotton, 10% polyester, Graphite Heather - 50% ring-spun cotton, 50% polyester

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