Honk if You've Never Drunk-Texted War Plans! : Unisex Softstyle T-Shir

Never drunk-texted war plans at 2 a.m.? Congrats — you’re already more qualified than some of the people making decisions at the top.
This sarcastic tee takes political absurdity and turns it into wearable satire with a bold cartoon car declaring: “Honk if you’ve never drunk-texted war plans!.”

This funny political shirt blends news-cycle humor, dark comedy, and social satire into one sharp graphic tee. Perfect for fans of political humor, sarcastic tees, edgy meme shirts, and anti-establishment apparel, this shirt makes a statement without saying names—because if you know, you know.

Ideal for politically savvy adults, protest-goers, humor lovers, and anyone who enjoys laughing at chaos with a touch of snark. Comfortable enough for everyday wear, yet bold enough to spark conversations at rallies, parties, and casual Fridays, this shirt proves that satire never goes out of style.

Crafted from soft, lightweight fabric with a classic unisex fit, it’s made for comfort and durability. Whether you’re scrolling through the latest scandals, debating with friends, or simply living your best sarcastic life, this tee is your uniform of choice.

The Goods:

This unisex softstyle t-shirt is a versatile wardrobe staple that radiates comfort and style. This lightweight tee feels great against the skin, making it perfect for everyday wear or special occasions. Its classic crew neckline and relaxed fit ensure you look effortlessly chic whether you're out with friends or lounging at home. Grab one for yourself or purchase as a gift for friends and family.

Product Features:

-Fabric is lightweight and soft. This versatile unisex t-shirt is comfy enough to wear all year round.
-The classic fit with the crew neckline delivers a clean, versatile style that can match any occasion. All shirts feature a pearlized, tear-away label for total wearing comfort.
-Made using ethically grown and harvested US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. This blank tee is certified by Oeko-Tex for safety and quality assurance.
-Fabric blends: Heather colors – 35% ring-spun cotton, 65% polyester; Sport Grey and Antique colors – 90% cotton, 10% polyester; Graphite Heather – 50% ring-spun cotton, 50% polyester

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

More Deets:

-Made with 100% ring-spun cotton or a cotton/polyester blend for lightweight comfort
-Classic fit with crew neckline for versatile style
-Twill tape shoulder tape for added durability
-Ethically grown and harvested US cotton for sustainable production
-Ribbed knit collar to retain shape and provide elasticity

T-Shirt Size Guide (in inches):

XS: 16" wide, 27" long, 7.99" sleeve length
S: 18" wide, 28" long, 8.23" sleeve length
M: 20" wide, 29" long, 8.50" sleeve length
L: 22" wide, 30" long, 8.74" sleeve length
XL: 24" wide, 31" long, 9.02" sleeve length
2XL: 26" wide, 32" long, 9.25" sleeve length
3XL: 28" wide, 33" long, 9.49" sleeve length
4XL: 30" wide, 34" long, 9.72" sleeve length
5XL: 32" wide, 35" long, 9.96" sleeve length

Measurements refer to the actual garment dimensions. Widths are measured across the chest, 1 inch below the armpits. Sleeve lengths are measured from the top of the shoulder to the end of the sleeve. Allow for a 1.5 inch size tolerance.

Care Instructions:

Do not dry clean
Do not bleach
Tumble dry: low heat
Iron, steam or dry: low heat
Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors

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